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Thursday, December 2, 2010

My First Marathon... Sort of.

Phew!  I did it!

It only took 11 days but I completed my 1st marathon.  I've only taken 1 three-day trick off from the firefighting job next October so I'm concerned that, at this rate, I'm going to need more time off to cross the finish line in Chicago before I'm required to report back to work.  Pheidippides would be proud if it weren't for the fact that he died right after delivering his message that it was now safe to start staging gyro carts closer to the front.

In all seriousness, as much as I hate to admit it, I'm starting to actually enjoy this running thing.  How did this happen?  I'm going to have to take back all the things I've said about running over the years.  I actually felt a little wimpy this morning when I looked at the thermometer and saw the number 29 because I looked out the window and saw a clear, blue sunny sky and decided "29 is cold.  I'm hitting the treadmill."  As I pulled into the Y (I've found the key card so apparently I'm welcome again), what did I see but a group of runners far heartier than I returning from an invigorating near-polar jaunt.  Every single one of them looked like they had fun and not one of them looked like a reindeer, penguin or polar bear.  A completely different day from yesterday, when all the nasty lake effect weather that later closed the Thruway in Buffalo was coming in.  Anyone who ran outside in that returned looking like something that would scare a Yeti.  Yesterday was a good day to be inside on the treadmill.

One of the things I think is neat is all the stuff I'm learning as a new runner.  I'll share some of the lessons in no particular order of importance.

1)  Runners are friendly people.  It's amazed me how many people want to run with you when they discover you're a fledgling runner.  Part of me thinks it's so they have someone to be miserable with too, but as I said earlier, the more I run, the less miserable I feel.  I wonder if runners undergo the same sort of mental re-wiring as women after childbirth, which allows them to somehow think going through it again is ok.

2) Runners are competitive people.  A runner friend had what she described as a "great 2.75 mile run" this morning but still left a "take that!" message for me on Facebook.  I'll have to sort this one out.  Aren't we all running for the same team?  Oh... wait.  Nevermind (for clarification, see previous entry "Adventures of a Novice Runner").

3) Runners consume lots of water.  This is great because it has endowed me with the magical power of being acutely attuned to the location of the nearest bathroom.  I became cognizant of this new found super power last evening as I drove through Buffalo on the Thruway in a zero-visibility snow squall single-file at 10 MPH for what I think was about 127 miles.  I'm glad I got through before the State Police shut it down, although I'm a little melancholy that I missed the chance to check "Urinated in the Middle of a Toll Road During Rush Hour" off my clipboard of life.

4) I might say silly things to my running partner when I'm feeling good during a run.  Take today, for example.  I was having a great time learning about interval training, which as near as I can tell involves running for a few minutes at one speed, running for a few more minutes at a faster speed, and running still more minutes back at the first speed and then lather, rinse, repeat until you've achieved the desired distance or your legs fall off (since my legs didn't fall off, I can only assume that there's a fair amount of duct tape connecting my femoral heads with their corresponding os innominatum.  Yay me!).  So my great & motivational training partner suggests I take my last interval at a certain speed and I, being granted the Wisdom of Novice Mileage, take it upon myself to say "I think I'll take it just this much faster just because I can" to which my truly wise great and motivational training partner smirks and says "Okay smartass.  Two extra minutes for you while I enjoy my well deserved cool down.  Get going!"  Perhaps as I grow out of this newfound faux wisdom, I'll learn a thing or two about when to speak and when to shut up.

5) There appears to be no such thing as a healthy energy bar.  Here's a fun fact:  The bars sold under the name of L.A. Weight Loss have exactly the same number of calories as the ones sold by Kellogg's.  I think the only way to get a healthy portion is to take one bite and put it back in my gym bag which will either result in a herd of stale, partially eaten energy bars meandering about my gym bag or a really neat science experiment that combines sugar, sweat, darkness and oral bacteria to create the world's first somewhat edible Chia pet.

6) I discovered yesterday that the best way to avoid hitting the wall while running is to run on a treadmill.  Two days in a row, I've noticed the treadmill gets no closer to the wall as I run.

Pretty soon, I'm going to have this running thing licked.  I just know it.

Yay me!

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